To be young again...

Tonight we went to an ECFE gathering where there was pizza and lots of jumping on inflatables. I wish I had the energy I used to have when I was younger. Watching the kids made me tired. Somewhere along the way I lost my unending energy, sad but true. Perhaps it is the dullness of winter and seeing nothing but endless white. I long for spring and the beautiful colors and smells. I received a Gurney's Seed catalog in the mail and it just teases me. I can't wait to plant my garden this year. It is work but SOOOO worth it. The kids will love helping too so that will be a blast. Here's hoping for an early spring.

monotony

I am having one of those days. For some reason, I feel tired and sad at the same time. I wish every day could be a great fun adventure because then I would never feel bored. We are in California with beautiful weather, and yet I am not happy. I feel like my days are exactly the same, just in a new location. It is a daily struggle with me. I know other people feel the same way, and yet I feel alone in this. I don't know how to fix it either. People say, "Just wait until your kids are in school. You will be so busy!" I am one of those people who ENJOYS busy. I have days where I just want to get out of the house to see other adults. I am lonely. It is a complex situation.

hard to believe

This past Wednesday, a high school classmate of mine lost his 14 day old daughter. Sudden and tragic death always makes me realize how precious every day is. That night as I put my children to bed, I hugged them a little tighter and longer than normal. Why God has blessed me with 2 healthy children I do not know. But I know this: There is not a moment in our lives that is not controlled by God. He holds us in His hands through the good and bad. And just when we think we cannot make it through, He gently nudges us and shows us just enough hope to keep going. And really, that is all He asks of us. Life is hard, but God is good.